You shouldn't be doing this.
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Author:  Trog Dor [ Thu Jan 06, 2005 8:03 pm ]
Post subject:  You shouldn't be doing this.

Compiling this list for Nikatoni, any ones I've missed?

Adding yourself as friend
It's good to like yourself, but putting yourself on your contact list is kind of Narcissistic, don't you think?

Baleeting yourself
You can't ignore yourself, no matter how hard you try.

Donating negative meat at the Hall of Legends

That's not enough Meat to make a proper offering.

Trade with yourself
You juggle some of your items and Meat for a minute -- now you don't need to arrange an elaborate trade with yourself!

Pvp yourself
You know, once you start hurting yourself, you won't be able to stop, and you'll end up working for James Spader as a secretary, and constantly letting him spank you. Let's not start down that road.

Negative meat/letters in coffers

Don't be a jackass.

Negative meat in stash
That doesn't make sense.

Letters in the stash
The 31337 h4X0r smiles on you for your gallant try. You gain 1 Eliteness. Too bad nobody's counting.

Letters instead of numbers in the gym
You don't have a time machine!

Buying nothing in mall
No item was selected, Mr. "I Don't Have to Select an Item."

Attacking with no army

Your Clan Army contains no soldiers, soldier. So just pretend you attacked instead of actually attacking, since that'd be exactly as effective.

Buffing Skully
Can't buff Mr. Skullhead. Your buff slides right off the skull, you see.

Buffing Jick
Hi -- thanks for trying to buff me, but I don't really need it. Maybe your MP would be better spent playing Santa Claus to some newbies. XOXO, Jick

Using what you don't own
You don't have the item you're trying to use. Cheater.

Nameless outfit
Your outfit must have a first name. Whether it's O S C A R or not is your business.

Oddly enough, you can actually...
- chat with yourself
- add your own store to favorites

Author:  cool_josh [ Thu Jan 06, 2005 8:13 pm ]
Post subject: 

I dont know if this one counts but,

Going to the mall while under level 5

You approach the Mall, but are stopped at the entrance by a big burly guard.

"Sorry, kid," he says, "but you gotta be at least level 5 to shop at the Mall of Loathing. Come back when you've got some more hair on your chest."

Author:  Fusilliban [ Thu Jan 06, 2005 9:59 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: You shouldn't be doing this.

Trog Dor wrote:
Donating negative meat at the Hall of Legends[/b]
That's not enough Meat to make a proper offering.

Actually, that gets triggered for all quantities <200, and therefore probably does not belong on the list.

Author:  Fujiko [ Thu Jan 06, 2005 10:27 pm ]
Post subject: 

Going to The Shore while falling down drunk

You're too drunk to go on vacation. Which, um, makes sense somehow. Trust me.

There's a bunch of other falling down drunk ones, do you want those?

Author:  Trog Dor [ Thu Jan 06, 2005 10:40 pm ]
Post subject: 

The drunk ones and such I consider a separate thing, as I would meat < 200 were it not for the fact that the message is the same for negative values.

Author:  Sambob182 [ Fri Jan 07, 2005 4:53 am ]
Post subject: 

Posting a blank message in the clan

"Don't post messages with no content, or Mr. Gerf will come out of your closet and eat you."

Author:  ShadowsLight [ Fri Jan 07, 2005 4:57 am ]
Post subject: 

Oh, you missed 2 of my favourite "You shouldn't be doing that" messages:

Try taking more or less than 3 items when looking in the sewer with a clover

Three shall be the number of items you take, and the number of items you take shall be three. Four items shalt thou not take, neither shalt thou take two, excepting that thou then proceedst to three.

It's the only Monty Python reference I can remember being in the game

Apply to a clan you already belong to

You can't apply to a clan you're already in. They might decline your application by mistake, and then you'd all feel awkward at your next clan function.


Author:  HotStuff [ Fri Jan 07, 2005 6:12 am ]
Post subject: 

Trying to equip/eat/drink meat paste
That's not something you can equip. And stop screwing with the URLs.
That's not something you can eat.
That's not booze.

Various attempts to combine/cook/mix/smith without tools
You don't have any more meat paste.
How can you cook things without an oven?
How can you make cocktails without a Cocktailcrafting kit?
How can you smith things without a hammer?

Trying to fight someone when you have a hippy stone
You shouldn't even be here...
Your campsite contains a magical mystical hippy stone.

Trying to get a second transfunction from the crackpot
The crackpot looks at you strangely. Eh? What? Huh?
Note, you actually *can* get infinite transfunctioners if you want

Trying to sell something to the Bounty Hunter Hunter he doesn't want
The Bounty Hunter Hunter isn't buying those today.

Trying to get something from the Trapper besides skins
The Tr4pz0r doesn't traffic in that item.

Trying to trade with the Trapper when you have no furs

Trying to get something from the Hermit without a worthless item
You don't have anything the hermit wants.

Trying to make a 4th piece of toast
The toaster appears to be out of toast. You'll be able to make some more tomorrow.

Ordering from the arches a second time
You can only order food from the Arches once per day.

Trying to buy a trophy you don't qualify for (or that doesn't exist)
You don't meet the requirements for that trophy.

Trying to do various things to clan administration as only a member
You're not the leader.

Making an offer to no one
Empty offer. That's right. Empty.

There are a few other, more obscure messages, but I don't want to ruin *all* the fun of discovery...

Author:  ShadowsLight [ Fri Jan 07, 2005 6:41 am ]
Post subject: 

HotStuff wrote:
Trying to equip/eat/drink meat paste
That's not something you can equip. And stop screwing with the URLs.

That's brilliant... I am sure originally Jick had the message:

"That's not something you can equip. And stop screwing with the URLs, HotStuff."

;-) ;-) ;-)

Author:  winston churchill [ Fri Jan 07, 2005 8:26 am ]
Post subject: 

I'm on my own contact list he must have added that one more recently...

Author:  Jurgen [ Fri Jan 07, 2005 8:32 am ]
Post subject: 

Not sure it can be done anymore. But I found a demon market once, that said something like, you shouldn't be here this is a bug. But while your hear buy something (of course nothing could be bought)

<a href="http://www.kingdomofloathing.com/store.php?whichstore=t" target=mainpane>Store T, S 1</a>
that was the code or something.

Author:  Synkronos [ Fri Jan 07, 2005 10:55 am ]
Post subject: 

winston churchill wrote:
I'm on my own contact list he must have added that one more recently...

It only gives you that error message if you try add yourself to your friends list in the chat pane. If you look at your profile and click 'Add to friends list' it adds it just fine. That had me confused the first time someone mentioned it as well :P

Author:  Black_Archon [ Fri Jan 07, 2005 2:26 pm ]
Post subject: 

Don't remember what it says, but

Trying to go to the clan chat when not in a clan

Author:  Fusilliban [ Fri Jan 07, 2005 5:23 pm ]
Post subject: 

However, there's nothing wrong with being in /clan or /listening to it, and leaving your current clan... there appears to be an ad-hoc /clanless that there's usually one or two people floating about in.

Author:  nog_lorp [ Fri Jan 07, 2005 6:04 pm ]
Post subject: 

Falling down drunk... while sober
You can't adventure in a stupor unless you're actually in a stupor. Which you aren't.

Hehe... the adventure number just happens to be 23 as well...

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