Compiling this list for Nikatoni, any ones I've missed?

Adding yourself as friend
It's good to like yourself, but putting yourself on your contact list is kind of Narcissistic, don't you think?

Baleeting yourself
You can't ignore yourself, no matter how hard you try.

Donating negative meat at the Hall of Legends
That's not enough Meat to make a proper offering.

Trade with yourself
You juggle some of your items and Meat for a minute -- now you don't need to arrange an elaborate trade with yourself!

Pvp yourself
You know, once you start hurting yourself, you won't be able to stop, and you'll end up working for James Spader as a secretary, and constantly letting him spank you. Let's not start down that road.

Negative meat/letters in coffers
Don't be a jackass.

Negative meat in stash
That doesn't make sense.

Letters in the stash
The 31337 h4X0r smiles on you for your gallant try. You gain 1 Eliteness. Too bad nobody's counting.

Letters instead of numbers in the gym
You don't have a time machine!

Buying nothing in mall
No item was selected, Mr. "I Don't Have to Select an Item."

Attacking with no army
Your Clan Army contains no soldiers, soldier. So just pretend you attacked instead of actually attacking, since that'd be exactly as effective.

Buffing Skully
Can't buff Mr. Skullhead. Your buff slides right off the skull, you see.

Buffing Jick
Hi -- thanks for trying to buff me, but I don't really need it. Maybe your MP would be better spent playing Santa Claus to some newbies. XOXO, Jick

Using what you don't own
You don't have the item you're trying to use. Cheater.

Nameless outfit
Your outfit must have a first name. Whether it's O S C A R or not is your business.

Oddly enough, you can actually...
- chat with yourself
- add your own store to favorites

I dont know if this one counts but,

Going to the mall while under level 5

You approach the Mall, but are stopped at the entrance by a big burly guard.

"Sorry, kid," he says, "but you gotta be at least level 5 to shop at the Mall of Loathing. Come back when you've got some more hair on your chest."

Going to The Shore while falling down drunk

You're too drunk to go on vacation. Which, um, makes sense somehow. Trust me.

There's a bunch of other falling down drunk ones, do you want those?

The drunk ones and such I consider a separate thing, as I would meat < 200 were it not for the fact that the message is the same for negative values.

Posting a blank message in the clan

"Don't post messages with no content, or Mr. Gerf will come out of your closet and eat you."

Oh, you missed 2 of my favourite "You shouldn't be doing that" messages:

Try taking more or less than 3 items when looking in the sewer with a clover

Three shall be the number of items you take, and the number of items you take shall be three. Four items shalt thou not take, neither shalt thou take two, excepting that thou then proceedst to three.

It's the only Monty Python reference I can remember being in the game


Apply to a clan you already belong to

You can't apply to a clan you're already in. They might decline your application by mistake, and then you'd all feel awkward at your next clan function.


Classic

Trying to equip/eat/drink meat paste
That's not something you can equip. And stop screwing with the URLs.
That's not something you can eat.
That's not booze.

Various attempts to combine/cook/mix/smith without tools
You don't have any more meat paste.
How can you cook things without an oven?
How can you make cocktails without a Cocktailcrafting kit?
How can you smith things without a hammer?

Trying to fight someone when you have a hippy stone
You shouldn't even be here...
Your campsite contains a magical mystical hippy stone.

Trying to get a second transfunction from the crackpot
The crackpot looks at you strangely. Eh? What? Huh?
Note, you actually *can* get infinite transfunctioners if you want

Trying to sell something to the Bounty Hunter Hunter he doesn't want
The Bounty Hunter Hunter isn't buying those today.

Trying to get something from the Trapper besides skins
The Tr4pz0r doesn't traffic in that item.

Trying to trade with the Trapper when you have no furs
Ahem.

Trying to get something from the Hermit without a worthless item
You don't have anything the hermit wants.

Trying to make a 4th piece of toast
The toaster appears to be out of toast. You'll be able to make some more tomorrow.

Ordering from the arches a second time
You can only order food from the Arches once per day.

Trying to buy a trophy you don't qualify for (or that doesn't exist)
You don't meet the requirements for that trophy.

Trying to do various things to clan administration as only a member
You're not the leader.

Making an offer to no one
Empty offer. That's right. Empty.


There are a few other, more obscure messages, but I don't want to ruin *all* the fun of discovery...

Don't remember what it says, but

Trying to go to the clan chat when not in a clan

However, there's nothing wrong with being in /clan or /listening to it, and leaving your current clan... there appears to be an ad-hoc /clanless that there's usually one or two people floating about in.

Falling down drunk... while sober
You can't adventure in a stupor unless you're actually in a stupor. Which you aren't.

Hehe... the adventure number just happens to be 23 as well...