2003 January - March April - June July - September October - December

2004 January - March April - June July - September October - December

2005 January - March

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Museum of Rares

All of those below are exlusive or discontinued items that were/are in the game. I've excluded yet-to-be-implemented items to avoid spoilers and because at some point they'll cease to be rare. This latter reason also applies to Radio Regalia, Pickle Factory drops, and the "ultra-rares."
Note: clicking on the item graphic will load it's in-game ('official') description.

'Villa Document' Big Ol' Trophy Bigger Bugfinder Blade Birthday Candle Bugbear-smiting Sword Bugfinder Blade Can of Red Minotaur Cement Shoes Children's Meal of the Damned Crimbo Hat Crimbo Pants Crimbo Pressie Crimbo Sword Consolation Ribbon Demonskin Trousers Especially Homoerotic Frat Paddle Exclusive Ultra-Rare Item

Extra Special Crimbo Stocking Fetus-smashing Club Fruitcake Fuzzy Bracelets Gasmask Gnollish Nunchaku Guild Application Guild Pants Hemp Backpack Heteroerotic Frat Paddle Intergalactic Pom Poms Item #13 Mafia Bow Tie Mafia Stogie Mafia Violin Case Mafia wine Mahi Fez

Meaty Helmet Turtle Million-meat Pancakes Minty Gum Mob Penguin Protection Contract Mr Container Mr. Exploiter Newbiesport Backpack Old School Mafia Knickerbockers Pail Present Severed Rocking Horse Head Sober Pill Steaming Evil Time Juice W23 Bling Wrapping Paper

-> A historical note on Beanbag Chairs, Dungeoneer Dungarees, and Mighty Bjorn Action Figures

'Villa Document'
Villa docs were purchasable at Uncle P's Antiques and opened up access to the /villa chat channel. The price was orignally 500M meat(August 2004) but was lowered to 250M several months later.

Big Ol' Trophy
In the summer of 2003 Accordion Thief began an in-game scavenger hunt. Beset by problems, the contest never completed but the already-created prizes (trophy and ribbon) were handed out anyways.

Bigger Bugfinder Blade
Awarded by Jick to those who've found many little bugs or a few major ones - usually either infinite meat, item duplication, or 'god mode' bugs.
Owners: Accordion Thief, Adamson, Anthrax101, BoozerBear, Cybergoat, Fnord7, HotStuff, Inconnu, Jacka18l, Janice is Uber Cool, Marshall, Pachelbel, Pimonkey, Quato, and Zair.

Birthday Candle
(forthcoming)

Bugbear-smiting Sword
Given to spazworrier (#2454) on October 6th, his 16th birthday.

Bugfinder Blade
Awarded by Jick to those who find and report game bugs and exploits.
Owners: BigBadBob, Charr, D L, MaxDemian, Pachelbel, PsycicPsyco, Qrrbrbirlbel, Spikey, Stable, and WhatTheDeuce

Can of Red Minotaur
Never actually implemented, these have all been hacked from the item database (first by accordion thief in June, 2003). When used they give the effect "Wings," and were intended to (but never did) drop at the Castle in the Sky.

Cement Shoes
These shoes were given out as prizes from Uncle P's Mystery Raffles; 1st prize for the second raffle and one of several items in the grand and "zeroeth" prize packages for the fifth (and last) Mystery Raffle.

Childrens' Meal of the Damned
Unimplemented item that was supposed to be available from the Evil Golden Arches.

Crimbo Hat
Could be smithed from the Wrapping Paper available from Christmas 2003.

Crimbo Pants
Could be smithed from the Wrapping Paper available from Christmas 2003.

Crimbo Pressie
To celebrate Christmas 2003 every player received a Crimbo Pressie. Inside the Pressie was fruitcake and wrapping paper which could be smithed into pants, hat, or a sword. Having all three items gave you the Crimbo outfit and the chance to get the Crimbo tattoo. On October 30, 2004 Fruitcake re-entered the Kingdom as a Trick-or-Treat present for those dressed up in the Crimbo outfit.

Crimbo Sword
Could be smithed from the Wrapping Paper available from Christmas 2003.

Consolation Ribbon
In the summer of 2003 Accordion Thief began an in-game scavenger hunt. Beset by problems, the contest never completed but the already-created prizes (trophy and ribbon) were handed out anyways.

Demonskin Trousers
These were originally dropped in the Daily Dungeon. When tinkering with the code one day Jick accidentally deleted them as item drops and didn't bother re-instating.
See also: Gasmask, Pail

Especially Homoerotic Frat Paddle
A gift from Jick to Xenophobe (#46205), he now insists the item doesn't exist to prevent people from messaging or talking to him about it.

Exclusive Ultra-Rare Item
A personal gift to Phoenix (#4403) from Jick (for her birthday), one was later given to Mick (#4590) but later replaced with Fuzzy Bracelets - it is, after all, an exclusive item for Phoenix (even when hacked, Jick always claims from from the undeserving). Technically, the graphic is of an adult toy, but it was changed when Jick decided to make KoL family-friendly (relatively).

Extra Special Crimbo Stocking
Only a 150 were created, personally handed out by Secret Santa (#282178) on the 25th and 26th of December, 2004. The stocking contains a Mr. A in addition to everything else a Crimbo Stocking has.

Fetus-smashing Club
Given to Bashy (#91072), a near-celebrity figure known for his mock hatred of fetuses.

Fruitcake
To celebrate Christmas 2003 every player received a Crimbo Pressie. Inside the Pressie was fruitcake and wrapping paper which could be smithed into pants, hat, or a sword. Having all three items gave you the Crimbo outfit and the chance to get the Crimbo tattoo. On October 30, 2004 Fruitcake re-entered the Kingdom as a Trick-or-Treat present for those dressed up in the Crimbo outfit.

Fuzzy Bracelets
A gift from Jick to Mick (#4590) for Christmas 2004, they replaced the Exclusive Ultra-Rare Item (a Phoenix-only item).

Gasmask
These were originally dropped in the Daily Dungeon. When tinkering with the code one day Jick accidentally deleted them as item drops and didn't bother re-instating.
See also: Demonskin Trousers, Pail

Gnollish Nunchaku
(forthcoming)

Guild Application
At one point early on these applications were required in order to gain entrance into one's class guild (League of Chef-Magi, etc).

Guild Pants
Guild Pants were given to adventurers when they beat the Boss Bat. In early summer of 2003 they were replaced by the Boss Bat Bandana, which is traded to the Council for the Batskin Belt. At the time, those with Guild Pants had them swapped out for the Belt.

Hemp Backpack
Remnants from long ago, these were all hacked from the item database. Though never implemented, they were intended to allow players to carry extra items back when there was a capacity limit in player inventories (removed on March 15, 2004).

Heteroerotic Frat Paddle
A present for Mr Skullhead (#688) because of his affinity for spanking just about any girl.

Intergalactic Pom Poms
A gift Jick gave to skipperic (#8190), a personal friend of his, in November 2004.

Item #13
At one point destined to drop by the Toot Oriole, they were eventually given out by Jick or Mr Skullhead to friends and/or early players. The latest one given was in June 2004 to Jacka18l for finding some massive bugs. The item is a joke over Jick's refusal to use the number 13 in any code.

Mafia Bow Tie
These were given out as prizes from Uncle P's Mystery Raffles; 1st prize for the first raffle and one of several items in the grand and "zeroeth" prize packages for the fifth (and last) Mystery Raffle.

Mafia Stogie
These blunts were given out as prizes from Uncle P's Mystery Raffles; 1st prize for the third raffle and one of several items in the grand and "zeroeth" prize packages for the fifth (and last) Mystery Raffle.

Mafia Violin Case
These weapons were given out as prizes from Uncle P's Mystery Raffles; 1st prize for the fourth raffle and one of several items in the grand and "zeroeth" prize packages for the fifth (and last) Mystery Raffle.

Mafia wine
Mafia wines are rare booze that give one drunkenness point, around five adventures, and several dozen sub-stat points. All were awarded to winners of one of Uncle P's five raffles, except for the Zinfandel which was sold by Don Pygoscelis to Villa residents and members of his clan (for a discount). The six wines include: Acqua Del Piatto Merlot, Acque Luride Grezze Cabernet, Ferita Del Petto Zinfandel, Maiali Sifilitici Pinot Noir, Spasmi Dolorosi Del Rene Champagne, and Uovo Marcio Shiraz

Mahi Fez
Modeled after his real-life one, this special fez was created especially for BoozerBear (#4756).

Meaty Helmet Turtle
An early Turtle Tamer meatsmithing ingredient, it was removed for an unknown reason.

Minty Gum
Available from the Hermit before being discontinued, they were intended to allow players extra reach into the sewer to retrieve multiple items. There were four types: Single, Double, Triple, and Quadruple-Minty Gum.

Mob Penguin Protection Contract
Costing 10k, they were sold at the now-defunct Uncle P's Antiques, each contract owned afforded protection from one mafia hit.
See also: JLE's History of the Penguin Mafia

Mr Container
Remnants from long ago, these were all hacked from the item database. Though never implemented, they were intended to allow players to carry extra items back when there was a capacity limit in player inventories (removed on March 15, 2004).

Mr. Exploiter
Mr. Exploiters were availabe at Uncle P's Antiques after "Black Sunday" as a meatsink. At a cost of 1B meat, it is generally only the property of those who directly or indirectly profited greatly from the slew of bugs and exploits.

Newbiesport Backpack
Remnants from long ago, these were all hacked from the item database. Though never implemented, they were intended to allow players to carry extra items back when there was a capacity limit in player inventories (removed on March 15, 2004).

Old School Mafia Knickerbockers
These pants were given out as prizes from Uncle P's Mystery Raffles; they were one of several items in the grand and "zeroeth" prize packages for the fifth (and last) Mystery Raffle.

One Million Meat Pancakes
In the middle of March 2004 a conversation in the chat led someone to ask Jick for a million meat pancakes - to everyone's surprise, the wish was granted.

Pail
These were originally dropped in the Daily Dungeon. When tinkering with the code one day Jick accidentally deleted them as item drops and didn't bother re-instating.
See also: Demonskin Trousers, Gasmask

Present
To celebrate Christmas 2003 every player received a Crimbo Pressie and a Fruitcake. Combining wrapping paper with a box made a Present.

Severed Rocking Horse Head
In November 2004 when Uncle P's Antiques sold "hits," a 100k meat mafia hit left the victim some stat losses and bad effects - and this horse head, personally delivered by Don Pygoscelis.

Sober Pill
Sober pills removed all inebriety with no fullness point or harmful effects. The first was handed out to Simon as a gift. Soon afterwards they were added as a drop from 31337 scrolls but rampant multi abuse convinced Jick to remove them. After being duped multiple times, their final demise was on August 14, 2004 when Jick deleted every pill in existence by removing them from the item database.

Steaming Evil
The actual item was created in December 2004 but first hacked, by BoozerBear, nearly a year earlier using a bug that let the Hermit give you any item. Previously just an empty placeholder in the item table (#666), BoozerBear owned all 13 piles of evil after Jick gave the placeholder life by assigning it properties, a description, and an image. The first buyer of Steaming Evil chose to remain anonymous, thus known owners are BoozerBear and Mick.

Time Juice
Eight bottles of Time Juice were handed out to every player at the completion of the Huge Cannon in Town.

W23 Bling
This bling was awarded to all members of the Warehouse 23 clan in October 2004 for their numerous contributions to the game.

Wrapping Paper
The Crimbo Pressies given out during Christmas 2003 resulted in this item when 'used.' It could be smithed into pants, sword, or a hat - or combined with a box to make a Present.

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